Thursday, February 18, 2010

Family Credit / Reading Now Complete!!!!

We are so thrilled that we have completed the 10 hours additional requirement by reading five books about adoption. Our family has a love of reading, so we knew this would be a great learning tool for us. We have been so blessed by the understanding the authors have given us through their personal adoption journeys.
So does this mean my reading and research is done. NO! There is one book our library didn't have "Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray, which they are going to try to borrow from another library or may order it, so our library will have a copy. (That of course would be the best option!) I also have a book on Toddler Adoption that I am going to try to read by March 1st, when it is due back to the library.

You would think I would be tickled pink to have this requirement fulfilled, but the last book that we read was so disturbing and has struck such a discord that it left a deficit in my mind. The author presented her own personal theories and assumptions regarding the adoptee and adoptive family with a biased and jaded twist. The part that saddens me the most is that she is an adoptive mother and works in the field of counseling...I just cannot imagine the pain this book must have caused.
The book is The Primal Wound Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Newton Verrier. Not only does she put adoption and the adoption triad in a very negative light, but she presents some views that were disturbing to a very extreme and offensive degree. I strongly caution anyone considering this book and especially if you have children in your home that may happen to pick up the book and read through part of it.
I guess the biggest lesson I learned that if there are alarm bells going off that something is not right, then it probably is not right! Also, we must really be cautious in the counsel and support we seek in educating ourselves about adoption and preparing our families. Anyone can write a book, give a speech, and present their opinions it does not mean they are of any value.
After reading five books, The Connected Child is the best book with the most useful information that we have found so far. There are two more book reviews to share, so stay tuned!


  1. Way to go on finishing your 10 hours! Can't wait to read your next 2 reviews. I've got to find some of these books! :)

  2. Tammy Johnson ScolesAugust 5, 2010 at 8:09 AM

    I've heard of that book, but skipped it. A lot of people have very negative views on adoption, either from preconceived assumptions, or from a bad personal experience. There definitely can be issues, but, if God is at the center of it all, there should be no issues bigger than those encountered in parenting a biological child (different issues, yes, just not bigger ones).
    The biggest lesson I learned (and thankfully, like you, it was early on), is to stay away from any negativity. Be it in the media, or in family and friend circles.